I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
