brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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