I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
