Non-Jews are for practice
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
