God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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