we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
