why didn't you poke me back
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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