I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
