So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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