your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
