Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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