my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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