My nipple is on Facebook.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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