I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
