im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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