it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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