You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
