you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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