vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
