Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the condom got lost in my hair
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
