Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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