she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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