You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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