i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
