i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
