im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
