Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
