If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
