I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is wine microwaveable?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
