just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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