alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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