dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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