When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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