My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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