HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
