He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
