My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
