I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize