you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
