i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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