I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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