Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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