there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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