So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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