You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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