Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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