My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
being pregnant is like rehab
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize