using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
