I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize