Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
