her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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