we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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