Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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