I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I party with great urgency now.
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