And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
