The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
