there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
