Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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