it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
