Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
