So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
