Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
