My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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