I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
