I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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