I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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