your thong is hanging out like whoa
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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