theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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