just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize