no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
