You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
