This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize