i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
